Are you standing in your own way? 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been on a journey, and let me tell you, it’s been a whirlwind of self-discovery. I’m talking about a major shift in my mindset, energy, motivation—all the things. 

And you know what I’ve realized? I’ve been standing in my own way.

I’m talking about literal YEARS of self-sabotage, fueled by ego, anxiety, comparison—you name it. It’s like I’ve been playing a game of “Let’s see how many obstacles I can throw in my own path” without even realizing it.

So, when I fiiiiinally did, I decided to call myself out. Publicly. 

Yep, I took to threads last week and declared, “This is the year I get out of my own way.” 

Terrifying? Absolutely. 

But also strangely liberating. There’s something about owning up to your own barriers to complete strangers on the internet, that lights a fire under your tushie, ya know?

If you’re like me, knowing the symptoms of standing in your own way, is helpful, but finding the cure is more challenging….which is why in today’s blog post I’ll be outlining the telltale signs you might be standing in your own way, along with some solutions for taking back control.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

7 Signs You’re Standing in Your Own Way 

1. Procrastination: 

Ahhh my first love. Procrastination is a dirty word amongst most people. And as much as I HATE to admit to you (and myself), I am part of the 20% of adults who are chronic procrastinators. 

Like, I should be in AA (or I guess it would be called PA?) for how seriously I am addicted to procrastination. So if that support group exists, PA-lease let me know!

Okay, but seriously, procrastination has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. If there is something I can procrastinate on, I will. 

My excuse? I thrive under pressure. 

It’s true. I do my best work when there is a hard deadline or I leave myself little time to accomplish a task. It’s one of the reasons why all my services operate under intensives—LOVE me a short timeline! 

In fact, I was THAT student in school who would bang out a 10-page research paper the night before it was due and get an A. Meanwhile, I would hear my fellow classmates tell me they worked on their papers for weeks (WEEKS!!) and we would end up getting the same grade, or sometimes, mine was better—not trying to brag here, just giving you some context as to why I am the way I am haha. 

I don’t know why but procrastination works for me. 

For years I thought something was seriously wrong with me. 

That is, until I found out that a healthy dose of procrastination has actually been proven to help you create the perfect amount of pressure needed to get some things accomplished—A sweet spot, as psychologist Adam Grant refers to it. 

The key is to use moderate procrastination as a tool to work out ideas or problems. This is why I’ve since accepted it fully into my life by giving it a name, “intentional procrastination” and even incorporate it into my daily routine. You can read more about that in this blog post.

BUUUT if you’re finding yourself spending WAY too much time hanging out at the procrastination station, then that could be a big indicator that you are, in fact, getting in your own way. So best to have a lil heart-to-heart with yourself to gauge where you are. 

2. Comparison, Self-Doubt, and Negative Self-Talk: 

I lumped these babies all together because I feel like they are the perfect trifecta. 

Comparison is a natural part of life, but can really get out of hand if you let it. 

I for one, struggle with comparing myself to others on social media (who doesn’t really?), but especially when it comes to talented designers in my industry.

If I’m not careful, I can very easily go down a comparison trap rabbit hole that then spirals right into questioning my own abilities (i.e. self-doubt) which then leads to negative thoughts and negative self-talk (i.e. I’m an imposter…everyone is more talented than me…I suck…my designs suck… etcetera, etcetera). 

Habitually criticizing yourself or focusing too much on your flaws instead of your strengths will most definitely undermine your self-esteem and motivation which is a big fat sign that you might be standing in your own way. 

3. Perfectionism: 

Oh hey, comparison’s ugly cousin, am I right?!

Okay, maaaybe that was a smidge too harsh, but as a recovering perfectionist, I feel like I have the right to call her out. 

Here’s the thing—setting excessively high standards for yourself and being overly critical of mistakes can WILL lead to paralysis and prevent you from moving forward. I don’t make the rules. Buuuut I sure as heck have experienced this myself time and time again. 

4. Self-Sabotage: 

The obnoxious aunt that shows up when you least expect her?? haha.

Self-sabotage is definitely related to comparison and perfectionism. Once you’ve entered into those worlds, it’s easy to start engaging in behaviors that undermine your progress or success, such as procrastinating (shocker!), making excuses, or engaging in self-destructive habits.

Self-sabotage can take on so many different forms, but to give you an example, I’ve listed a few ways self-sabotage tends to show up in my life:

• Skipping my morning routine
• Ignoring self-care 
• Avoiding important tasks
• Putting others’ needs ahead of my own
• Procrastination (not her again!)
• Setting unrealistic expectations 
• Hyperfixating on one thing and ignoring everything else
• Increased anxiety 
• Denial

Self-sabotage is no joke. It’s a HUGE piece to the puzzle that could be preventing you from getting out of your own way. 

A book I love that has really helped me make steps towards getting out of my own way, especially when it comes to self-sabotage, is the book The Mountain is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery by Brianna Weist. 

I HIGHLY recommend giving it a read if you also struggle with this. 

Okay, moving on…

5. Fear of Failure (or Success):

Fear is such a sneaky lil b*tch. I know you know. 

Because fear manifests itself in so many forms that keeping up is tricky. 

I’ve had deeeeeep fears of failing in my business since I started. Tbh, I don’t think I know any entrepreneur, or general human being for that matter, who doesn’t fear failure in some way, shape, or form. 

But Success? That’s the tricky one. 

What I discovered is that avoiding challenges or opportunities because of a fear, whether that’s a fear of failure, not meeting expectations, OR a fear of the responsibilities that come with success, are just sneaky obstacles that are preventing you from getting out of your own way. 

6. Seeking External Validation: 

At first, I wasn’t going to include this on the list, but honestly, it’s a biggie. 

Relying too much on what other people think is one thing, but relying on their approval or validation for your decisions and actions instead of trusting your own judgment is a BIG BIG BIG elephant that can often prevent you from getting out of your own way. 

I get it, being seen is really freaking terrifying. But if you’re an online business owner, it comes with the territory, especially because we rely heavily on social media platforms to market ourselves. 

But here’s the thing, people are going to judge you whether you show up or not, so why not try to control the narrative as best you can and just not give a rip about what they think?!

I know, I know, easier said than done—trust me. 

BUT being confident in your abilities and trusting yourself, first and foremost, is what matters most. 

No one can tell you HOW to run your business—well, that’s not true, maaaany people do in fact tell you, buuuut you don’t have to listen to them. In fact, you probably shouldn’t, because what works for them, may not work for you. 

That’s a whole other can of worms we can open up later, but what I’m trying to get at here, is you don’t NEED a permission slip. And if you’re like, Lorin but I really do, then here it is 💁‍♀️

7. Lack of Goal Setting: 

If you’ve been around for a while you know I’m obsessed with goal setting. Like, OBSESSED, obsessed—just check out this post here.  

But I have to admit, that when I’ve been in seasons where I’m standing in my own way, I seem to lose sight of my goals. In fact, I’d even go as far as to say that I intentionally sabotage them—yikes! 

Not having clear goals, or a plan for the future can result in aimlessness and a lack of direction. I’ve been there and it’s not fun. 

My solution? Get a pen and paper, journal first, and then start to write down some small little goals that you can easily achieve to get the ball rolling. This will help motivate you and get you thinking about big-picture goals, and if you’re reading this, then one of them is probably going to be to get out of your own way, so….WRITE. IT. DOWN. 

Now that you know all the telltale signs that you might be standing in your own way, your might be thinking: Great, but like HOW  do I get out of my own way? 

I’m so glad you asked. 

How to Get Out of Your Own Way: Solutions for Taking Back Control

Step 1: Cultivate Self-Awareness:

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward getting out of your own way. I know it can be uncomfy to admit it, but once you do, you’ll be able to start moving forward by creating a plan.

Step 2: Decide you’re going to do something about it:

That’s it. That’s the second step. 

Step 3: Challenge Your Inner Dialogue:

Begin by questioning and challenging the negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that contribute to standing in your own way. Replace them with affirmations and positive self-talk to reframe your mindset and build confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Affirmations to repeat if you need a lil push:

• I am worthy of success and capable of achieving my goals.
• I embrace my uniqueness and trust in my abilities to navigate challenges.
• I release comparison and self-doubt, focusing instead on my own growth and progress.

Step 4: Set Realistic Goals and Prioritize:

Break down your larger goals into smaller, actionable steps that are achievable within a reasonable timeframe. Then, prioritize them based on their importance and impact. Focusing on progress over perfection! If you’re having trouble organizing your goals, check out this blog post. You’ll also love my FREE notion planning workbook! 

Step 5: Practice Self-Compassion and Forgiveness:

Be kind to yourself, please. I know we are our biggest critics, but try to acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and faces setbacks. Instead of dwelling on failures, or the fear of failure, learn from them and use them as opportunities for growth and improvement.

Step 6: Take Action Consistently:

You need to actually take intentional steps towards your goals every day, even if they’re small. Consistent action builds momentum and helps you overcome future resistance. Facts. And don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way!! Stay committed to your journey of getting out of your own way.

I really hope this blog post has been a helpful resource for you! If you’re feeling stuck because something isn’t quite lining up with your website or brand, I’m your go-to gal and I’d absolutely love to help you navigate past that roadblock so you have one less thing standing in your way, so don’t hesitate to reach out! 🙂