You know that montage scene in movies where the main character is just… there, sitting at their desk while time whooshes by?

The sun rises and sets, seasons change, calendar pages flutter away dramatically, but they’re just… there. In the exact same spot.

That’s kind of how this year has felt for me.

After some serious reflecting (like, grab-a-coffee-and-cancel-all-your-plans level of reflecting), I noticed I’d spent countless days in the same place—physically, and metaphorically.

At my desk. In front of my laptop. Working away.

The days melted into weeks, weeks into months, everything blurring together like watercolors in the rain.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely gotten things done. I launched a newsletter, kept up with (mostly) weekly blogging, worked with incredible clients, created a private podcast, ran (another) half marathon, and crushed a social media challenge.

But somewhere along the way, I realized I’d been living in someone else’s world.

How the ‘Shoulds’ Harm Your Personal Brand

You know that strange space where you find yourself unintentionally deep-diving into other people’s content, their strategies, and seemingly perfect systems?

People whose work you respect, whose leadership you value, whose paths seem SO clear and certain?

And suddenly, you find yourself feeling like sh*t 💩

That’s where the “shoulds” start creeping in:

• I should have a more consistent morning routine.
• I should be further along by now.
• I should be like so-and-so who seems to have it all figured out.
• I should have started my new year’s goals…yesterday.

Sound familiar?

One of my favorite pastimes? Shoulding myself to death. (in case you couldn’t tell)

I’m soOoOoO good at it, I should win an Olympic medal. (See what I did there?) 😉

Here’s what keeps hitting me on the head over and over again…

All this shoulding? It’s just noise. 

Like, the most unproductive kind of noise. EVER.

And honestly? That’s kinda been the whole vibe for most of this year. Just… noise.

The noise of getting lost in other people’s worlds.

The noise of second-guessing.

The noise of thinking, “damn, they’ve got it figured out. Why haven’t I?”

But here’s the thing—all that living in the noise of time spent wrapped up in someone else’s story has just made me trust my own instincts less. 

Instead of listening to that liiiittle voice in my head that knows what’s up (and that gnawing feeling in my gut that’s seldom wrong), I’ve been out here basically asking for permission to be myself. 

To show up how I want to show up.

Which is ridiculous when you think about it, right? 

Because nobody can tell you how to be you. 

I mean, they can try, but when it doesn’t align with who you actually are? 

That’s when everything starts feeling weird and icky. 

You start doubting yourself. Questioning everything. And there you go again…right back to the shoulds. 

It’s like this shame-should tornado that’s impossible to escape when you’re swirling about someone else’s world. 

Every minute we spend trying to recreate someone else’s path is a minute we’re not spending discovering our own. 

It’s like we’re all trying to star in someone else’s movie instead of directing our own.

Why Your Brand Deserves to Be Authentically Yours

As a brand and website designer, I see this all the time.

Clients come to me with incredible ideas but feel stuck in the noise of what everyone else is doing. They’ve collected “shoulds” from industry experts, competitors, and Instagram influencers, but their brand feels… off.

And honestly, it makes sense while it feels off. The thing is, your brand isn’t meant to be a carbon copy of someone else’s success story. It’s meant to be uniquely yours—messy bits, brilliant bits, and everything in between. 

Every time we try to squeeze ourselves into someone else’s formula for “success”, we’re actually stepping further away from our own path to it.

The truth is, when you stop “shoulding” yourself and start trusting your instincts, that’s when your brand becomes magnetic. That’s when you stop blending in and start standing out.

5 Steps to Building a Brand That’s Authentic To YOU (Without the Shoulds)

If you’ve ever caught yourself spiraling into the tornado of  “shoulds,” here’s your way out. These steps will help you build a brand that feels authentically yours.

1. Reconnect With Your Vision

Why did you start your business in the first place? Beyond making a living, what drives you? 

Ask yourself: What do I want my brand to stand for?

Think about your values, your purpose, and the impact you want to create. Your “why” is the cornerstone of your brand. It’s what makes you relatable and unforgettable. Write it down, frame it, tattoo it on your arm—whatever it takes to keep it front and center.

2. Audit Your Current Brand

Take an honest look at your current brand. Does your messaging feel authentic, or does it sound like someone else wrote it? Are your visuals outdated or generic?

Write down what doesn’t feel right and why. This will be your roadmap for what needs to change.

3. Mute the Noise (and don’t feel bad about it)

You can’t hear your inner voice if it’s being drowned out by someone else’s.

Take a social media detox.Mute the “experts”, unsubscribe from the emails, stop doom-scrolling and give yourself S-P-A-C-E to think.

What ideas excite you? Focus on that instead of what you think you “should” be doing.

4. Infuse Your Personality

Your quirks, your humor, your way of looking at the world—these are what make you, you. Infuse your personality into your website, emails, social media, and even your visuals.

Stop worrying about being “polished” and start focusing on being real.

5. Partner With a Trusted Collaborator

Sometimes, you need a fresh perspective to bring your vision to life. Partnering with a branding expert (hi, hello 👋) can help you break through the noise and create something that aligns with your unique story.

Don’t Let Another Year Blur By

What I’m ultimately trying to say here is don’t let another year blur by while you’re sitting in the same spot, using a brand that doesn’t quite feel like you, or working with a website that makes you cringe every time you share it.

Because just like those movie montages, time is going to pass whether you’re ready or not. 

But unlike those movie characters, you get to write your next scene. Maybe it’s time to step out of the same old frame and create something that actually feels like…you.

Ready to Build a Brand That’s Authentically You?

If you’re ready to leave the “shoulds” behind and step into your story, let’s chat.Book a Brand Clarity Call or explore my branding and web design services to create a brand that’s unapologetically YOU.